Joe Murray's Journal

At the end of the year, I always find myself evaluating the past 12 months. New Years is always a marker. How far have I come? But the question is, towards what? Or away from what?

As artists, we need to separate ourselves from our egos. Our labels. Our accomplishments. Our failures. I did a lot of work on my film this year, although I’m not as far along as I planned. I won an Emmy this year ( not planned). Wrote a book ( not planned). 

I feel the biggest accomplishment this year was the time I had with my daughters. But it’s funny how accomplishments like that are not celebrated by others. It’s the TV shows, the awards, the books, etc. But I celebrate that one. And I think my daughters do also. Doing TV shows steals time away from the kids.

I spoke at a college a few weeks ago. After the talk, one of the students came up to me with his cell phone and asked if I would say hi to his girlfriend who was a huge Rocko fan. When I got on the phone, she started crying. Happy crying. She couldn’t say anything to me because she couldn’t stop crying long enough to get a word out. I’m always shocked at this kind of thing. People feeling so nervous around me. Because inside, I’m still the shy geeky kid who draws cartoons .

If my ego ever bought into this thing, I would have trouble doing honest art. I’m glad some of my art connects with an audience. But I’ve also had a good time doing art that didn’t connect with anyone but me.

There’s a quote that I love that I try to keep in my head. It’s by Rudyard Kipling. I believe it’s called “If”.  

“If you can meet triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same.”

I think it sums up our need to separate our art from our ego.

Images of Christmas at the Murray cabin. And where would we be without the magic Christmas Toast that visits every Christmas eve?

It’s my daughter Daisy’s 11th birthday today. The best Christmas gift I’ve ever received. Happy Birthday to her. And my daughter Casey’s beautiful face is filled with the excitement of the Christmas rush we all used to feel as kids. We baked a cake for Santa today. She’s going to put it out tonight. It’s a good thing Santa isn’t too picky.

I feel that cloud sitting over my house drinking the prune juice, trying to make it snow. Really need to paint. Going a little bonkers.  Christmas always has me remembering those who are no longer in my life. I keep thinking I’m gonna get visited by the ghosts of Christmas, where the future ghost shows me that I didn’t do all of the projects I wanted to do. I wake up yelling “It’s not too late! I can still do them!” Then I yell down to the boy in the street to go down to the art store and fetch me some paints and more animation paper.

Or I remember the Christmas Eve’s stumbling around with a bottle of wine in my hand at 4 in the morning trying the finish the Christmas paintings I promised too many people. No wonder the last drink I had was on Christmas day, 23 years ago. 

Okay, enough melancholic rambling. We’ve got Christmas to celebrate. 

Happy Christmas to all! I see great things for 2009. I wish you peace.

Does anyone remember the Rocko Christmas Special? “You Can’t Squeeze Cheer from a Cheese Log” with Mitch the three legged elf, fruitcake Man, and the crapping cloud?  I pulled this artwork from the plug it got in TV Guide in 1995. I think it was way too bizarre for the mainstream Christmas crowd. The story centered around the prejudice that engulfed O-Town when a family of elves moved into the neighborhood. You know, the kind that promote foot fungus.

One of the production memories I have is legal not letting us use anything near the Rudolf song ( Oh, you know claw hammer, screwdriver, mallet and table saw.) The show was about to air the Friday before Christmas, and we were up late doing the final mix, when an executive called ( who was sitting cozy by her fire) and said, “oh I forgot to tell you,, we can’t use the version of the Rudolf song you did.” We were up until about three that night redoing it to get it ready for air on time.

Whenever I’m out Christmas shopping, I think of that show. It brings tears to my eyes. ( cue the gagging cloud).

Working on my Thank you gift drawings.

Scrambling to get all of those drawings out, as well as gifts to family and friends who live in other parts of the world.  I know we are supposed to use the holidays as a pause to reflect on our family and gifts we have in our lives, but there is no “pausing” involved.

I even got caught up in an impatient Christmas moment yesterday, running into a starbucks for a coffee. Just a plain coffee. Not a half-whip mocha java half-caf 160 degree skim milk thingy. Just a plain coffee. I walk in with only two people in line ahead of me. I look at my watch, I’ve got 5 minutes before I need to be on the road to pick up the kids.  The person at the front of the line is filling a travel coffee thing for an office party of 50 people. We all wait for that, 10 minutes go by.

Okay…listen… I admit I’m addicted to coffee. But it’s the last vice I have. I had to give up all of my other addictions. One would say, “Dude, move on.” But no. I”m getting my coffee, and nothing is going to stop me.

So in the middle of this inner dialog , “the coffee bucket to go” finally goes out, but then the next person wants to purchase 40 (count them forty) gift cards all with different amounts. I watch as this transaction creeps along, while I notice the barrister casually wiping off his latte spurting thing ( not that one, the one on his espresso machine) So after I have been standing there for 20 minutes, I finally run over to the barrister , half yelling and half kidding ) I JUST WANT A PLAIN COFFEE!! JUST A SMALL COFFEE!!! With a panic look in his eyes, he ran over and got me one, nudging aside the crewmate still only on gift card 5. I threw two dollars at him and ran out the door.

Somewhat ashamed, I realized I got caught up in all of the panic myself. That night, watching my daughters sing in the school Christmas Festival of light brought it all together. It was like that Linus moment “And that’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown”. Where was my Christmas cheer?

Maybe I should have gone to Dunkin donuts. I don’t know.

Thank you to all who bought books and participated in the “thank you gift” promotion. If you bought a book and wanted a drawing, make sure you have already sent in your address and the character from my two shows you wanted me to draw for you. For those who have already sent me a note, I’ll be getting back to you shortly and getting those out.

We are getting hit with a major rainstorm today, and it’s perfect weather for working inside and starting a fire in the wood burning stove.

It’s so cool what I get to do for a living, and I’m crazy excited about the new year and new projects!

When I got hacked, one of the saddest things was that I lost your comments. I was able to retrieve some of the things I posted, but can’t find any of the posts by the readers.

You all have already been so great in helping me rebuild my blog ( I’m getting to it, slowly) but if I could ask a favor of those who bought my book “Crafting a Cartoon”. I would love it if you could go to the book section and post your feelings about it, whether you found it helpful or not. I would love to hear.

Thank you!

Starting tomorrow, Friday December 12, and until midnight Sunday December 14 (Pacific Time) I’m going to extend the offer of an autographed drawing of Rocko characters or Lazlo characters as a thank you gift for any e-book “Crafting a Cartoon” purchased.

If you do purchase and want a drawing, send an email to joe@joemurraystudio.com with your address and character you want. I promise to get it to you before Christmas.

Winter is an appropriate partner for the economic times we are in.  The economy is cyclical, such are seasons. I am grateful for the good times. The steady work. Working the fields, reaping the harvests. These are times when we need to look the good harvests we’ve had.

But now it’s winter. Hopefully, we’ve put aside some extra for the winter, and in the darkness we can re-assess where we are. Are there changes to our business? Changes to the job market? Changes to our work? Use the slow time to be with family and friends, and laugh and cry. 

And then, just as it seems that winter will never end, the sun will come out. We’ve scraped the last nut from the bottom of the jar, but we have the energy to move into a new growing season.

Again, too many metaphors. But I need to remember all of this.  

I’ve had a good year of replanting. I’ve been slowly growing this film, and all of my resources have been going into it.  Will it bear fruit? What will it bring when it’s brought to market?

While working on this film, I’ve also been sprouting other seeds waiting for the spring, while teaching others how to garden.

Again, too many metaphors.

My Camp Pendleton event got cancelled today for some reason. Although I would have loved to have seen the soldiers and their kids, I suppose it means I’m needed in my studio for more work, and maybe slip away at lunch to do some Christmas shopping.

Again, “It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”

6am- It’s not light out yet, but I  get up to make coffee ( the magic elixir of life) and make lunches for my daughters. They grumble when I try to wake them up, claiming possible frostbite if they do.

Drop them off at school, and help pick up pine needles as a result of last nights school event. Only 4 more school Christmas rituals to go. 

Run home and bypass the dirty dishes ( I’m not noticing, not noticing) as I run up stairs to my art department loft to start my day’s work on my film. I have two computers, one for my filmwork only, one that does graphic work and runs my email. Of course I have a million emails. Do I need to return any of them before working?  Maybe the one from my lawyer. Yes. After turning on KCRW ( a southern California NPR station, with great music in the morning) I settle down to work. The phone rings, the cell phone pings, the email makes a submarine “blip” every time a new note drops in my box. Keep working. Don’t notice the man behind the curtain screaming that life is going on. But wait. Is’nt this life?  Focus, focus. Jump up to make some brown rice and add it to some Indian food leftovers from a couple of days ago.

As I eat lunch, I stress about whether I’m doing the right thing working on this film, or whether I should be working on that big project that has more of a chance to earn big money. Just that damn resistance again, mixed with a little insecurity. A phone call with the ex wife to talk about the kid’s school puts more stress on my decision to be working on this film. My inner voice assures me this is right. I Press on. Press on.

After a few hours of work, I jump up to go for a run in the hills. It rained yesterday so the air smells clean.

Lots of ugly Christmas decorations out that only Southern Californians have the nerve to proudly display. ( when did this inflatable, weird stuff start happening with the flying fake snow inside?)

When I get back, dripping with sweat, I give in to the dishes. Then trot upstairs for more work on the film.

Of course I never get as much work as I want to get done in a day. I sigh and take off to my girlfriends house for dinner. Lot’s of errands I didn’t do today. Christmas shopping? Hmmmm.

Maybe I can get more work in tomorrow. I’m hopeful. My cat’s Orson and Millie could really care less. They like sleeping on my computers. They are warm. That’s all that matters in their world. Sometimes I feel that it should be the same in mine.

                                                   The Artists Life

Are you a born writer? Were you put on earth to be a painter, animator, filmmaker? In the end the question can only be answered by action.

Do it or don’t do it.

It may help to think of it this way. If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony, or crack cold fusion and you don’t do it, you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself. You deprive the planet of your contribution.

You shame the angels who watch over you and you spite the almighty, who created you and only you with your unique gifts, for the sole purpose of nudging the human race one millimeter farther along it’s path back to God.

Creative work is not a selfish act, or bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.

from “The War of Art” with some slight modifications.